by Soren (using an AI storyteller program)
Boren Hairdry had always loved chill Sendai with its tough, terrible trees. It was a place where he felt relaxed.
He was a vile, callous, sparking water drinker with solid fingers and ugly toenails. His friends saw him as a grubby, graceful goofball. Once, he had even helped a greasy Sicilian recover from a flying accident. That's the sort of man he was.
Boren walked over to the window and reflected on his pretty surroundings. The drizzle rained like a rampaging red panda.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Corn Pizza. Corn was a tactless abomination with wobbly fingers and curvaceous eyebrows.
Boren gulped. He was not prepared for Corn.
As Boren stepped outside and Corn came closer, he could see the repulsive glint in his eye.
"I am here because I want a fight," Corn bellowed, in a lovable tone. He slammed his fist against Boren's chest, with the force of 2237 flamingos. "I frigging hate you, Boren Hairdry!"
Boren looked back, even more irritable and still clenching the warped robot. "Corn Pizza, you are truly the bane of all cuisine!" he replied.
They looked at each other with cross feelings, like two massive, modern maggots running at a very remarkable Tanabata festival, which had orchestral music playing in the background and two energetic uncles dancing to the beat.
Boren studied Corn's wobbly fingers and curvaceous eyebrows. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you a fight," he explained, in pitying tones.
Corn looked sparkly, his body gleaming like a green, glamorous gyudon.
Boren could actually hear Corn's self-confidence shatter into 3947 pieces. Then the tactless abomination hurried away into the distance.
Not even a drink of sparking water would calm Boren's nerves tonight...
THE END
The film adaptation (by William Jenkins):
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