Evaluation of Electronic Entertainment (30$ per month left!)

Long time no post, everybody! It's been fairly slow recently. While waiting for my ministry work visa to be processed in Japan, I've been trying to find ways to be productive during this season of patience. One subjectively big thing I've been praying about is to sell my "gaming" computer or somehow bring it with me on my new adventure. Here's a bit of my inner thoughts on the matter for you all to read!

Gaming is something that's become important to me ever since starting high school. Most of my childhood up to that point, my parents flat out refused to buy or let me own a video game console, claiming that it would fry my brain and keep me from playing outside. Fair point, but even then, video games were always a source of wonder and mystery whenever I got the chance to play at a friends or neighbors house. I can still remember the thrill of the fast paced, chaotic combat of Super Smash Bros on the Nintendo 64, feel the grim chilling atmosphere of a dystopian mega-metropolis in Final Fantasy VII, or the "Too-Cool-4-School!" attitude of the speedy Sonic the Hedgehog. Being barred from these treasure troves of experiences only made me more fascinated with them.

Finally, as a present for going into high school, my dad bought me the Nintendo Gamecube. A new world opened up for me. I was no longer an awkward, bullied, insecure teenager: I was a galactic bounty hunter fighting soul-sucking aliens, a legendary warrior gathering an ancient power to free the land from an all encompassing evil, and a Secret Service Agent single-handily facing eldritch and scientific horrors. For a time, I could escape my mundane, plain life and be something I wasn't. To have purpose and a greater goal than just finishing high school with acceptable grades. I could be a true hero, even if in a virtual simulation.

Gaming didn't stop there. I later moved on to the Xbox 360, after moving out and living on my own. Somehow, the drudgery of working in a dead end arcade job related very well to playing as an undead pilgrim, attempting to bring some relevance of hope to a dying and ruined world, full of despair and lost souls (Dark Souls). Once again, I was seeking purpose and a sense of a higher calling within a fictional setting. I was trying to medicate my own sense of despair, and pointless existence with an electronic device. It worked, I suppose, in helping me vent out my insecurities into a world with no real consequences, yet I could have a true effect on it for good or ill.

Fast forward to now: I have a somewhat powerful computer, with it's own graphics card running to process game environments alone. With that and 16GBs of Ram, pretty much any game I can find, I can play it. It's all within my grasp with a click of my mouse. I can be the hero in an endless ocean of worlds that are crying out to be saved. But now I've realized something: in all my time of trying to be something greater, to seek out purpose in a controlled and consequence-free environment, have I've been missing the true calling? The true need of a broken world is right in front of me, and I've been looking away because I didn't think I could make a difference?

Having been accepted as a member of the new Sendai base, I'm now reconsidering my stance on how much gaming means to me. I don't have to pretend that I have purpose and can change the world for the better: because now I have the opportunity to do so for real! As long as I and my team follow the Holy Spirit with humbleness, reverence, and open-hearts, we can make a great and positive difference in all who we meet. It's time to stop pretending, and live the good true life. I'm not saying that video games are bad, or don't have their purpose. But to depend on them for self-value is not what God intends, I believe. I pray that me and my team can help all those hurting and doubting in Sendai, and with the Holy Spirit's guidance, bring great joy and change to the land. To be true heroes in Your eyes. Amen.